Baby!

Scott & Kim had their baby! Now I'm "Crazy Auntie Jodi," courtesy of Alex Kaplan. Here are the new baby pics! You can email them at segalsm at hotmail.com.

Now I have proof that I'm right.

I'm now a reviewer for the 2007 Santa Barbara International Film Festival. This verifies me as a bona-fide movie critic! They get 2000 submissions and will screen only 200 at the film fest. It's the reviewers and staff that decide what makes it into the festival. I pick them up at the office and return them within 4 days of checkout. I'm allowed to have friends watch them with me. Based on my involvement, I get rewarded with different levels of passes to the film fest. Let me know if you want to watch them with me!

Alimony/Gavin Update

This has been a busy week! The court told me that I only have option left to get the alimony if Gavin doesn't voluntarily pay. I wasn't about to face him in court with charges that could put him in jail, so I emailed him for lunch. We met on Monday. We were both relieved to see each other. He understands why I shut him out, and I understand why he kept trying to get me to talk with him - we were both hurt and upset. It's been a long time so we are ready to talk again and re-establish a relationship.

Without getting into too many details, he agreed to pay me a slightly lower amount per month for a longer period of time, so it will add up to the same total. The first check is supposed to arrive on September 1st. I hope it works!

Pandora Rocks!

Pandora is like Tivo for music. Enter an artist or song you like and Pandora will play songs with similar qualities. You get to approve or disappove of each song, letting you make the selection more sophisticated.

It's all free and includes music from unsigned artists. You can have multiple radio stations and login from anywhere.

Alimony update

I talked with a lawyer who wants a 3,500 retainer in order to file the forms and appear in court. She estimates the total costs to be 3k-5k. Since that's almost 1/3 of what I'm owed and 10x more than I have in the bank, I think I'm going to pass. I'm trying to see someone at the courts to get some advice. Unfortunately, you have to line up a couple of hours in advance of when they start seeing people in order to get a spot. I tried on Monday, but didn't get in. I'm going to try again next Monday when they are open again. If that doesn't work, then I'll try Legal Aid or a 3rd lawyer. Wierdly, I probably won't be poor enough to qualify for Legal Aid. It's really frustrating that someone willing to do the work herself can't get a straight answer on how to make it happen. Anyone have any ideas?

Photos of Us

Jim's parents came to visit last week. His mom took these photos, so now you can finally see a little bit of our little bitty house and a bit of SB. It's the trade-off for living in paradise.

Good letter in today's paper

Divorce is bane of marriage's sanctity

Bob Barker, Santa Barbara

June 13, 2006

I don't understand how some people have come to the conclusion that gay marriage somehow undermines the sanctity of marriage.

What undermines the sanctity of marriage is divorce. So, if people want to protect the sanctity of marriage, they should be fighting for an amendment to ban divorce.

It would be interesting to see how many people, including our political leaders, would support such an amendment.

Agony of De Teeth

My teeth are conspiring against me. I have been grinding my teeth at night for years, without knowing it. The problem is so severe that my teeth are actually flat now. Anyone who knows about this problem could tell right away by looking at my teeth. Anyone, that is, except my dentist. Hello!!!! Don't you think someone could have told me!?!?

So, my new dentist (who I trust) gives me a $500 night guard to grind on. I crack 2 of them, which she says is impossible. Then I get a 3rd one which only covers some of my teeth leaving space for the most pressure to be left hanging off the back of the guard. This has caused my teeth to realign, along with moving my jaw back. That's when the headaches and shooting pain started in my ears.

So, I went back to the dentist who sent me to an orthodontist specializing in TMJ. He starts off by asking if I had braces as a kid with headgear. Then he said that headgear can pull the jaw back too far, so the jawbone and nerves are too close together, causing the pain.

The solution? He made me night guard #4 (at another $250 that I don't have), with the hopes that I won't crack it. I think he doesn't trust the first 3 were made properly. I hope he's right. Then he suggests "jaw therapy" to my dentist, but doesn't bother to tell me about it. Thank goodness she mentioned it to me. What is jaw therapy you say? Braces!!!! He wants to put me in braces again, for a year and a half, with rubberbands, so my teeth grow down enough to compensate for the grinding.

CRAP! I did everything the orthodontist told me to do and now they want another 5k from me, when I have less than $500 in the bank. Not likely.

I'm going to explore other options like cranio-sacral massage where they hold the muscles of your jaw in a relaxed position so your bones can realign. My massage therapist says grinding is a sign of mineral deficiency. So, it seems there are other, simpler, cheaper things to try first.

The Agony of De Feet

Well, we lost. The election that is. We still can't figure out how it happened. 4 candidates ran for county supervisor from the 2nd of 5 districts in Santa Barbara County. Counties in California have a lot of influence and power over some really important decisions, like land-use, development, housing, and transportation. We came in 3rd place, almost tied for last. We had almost 200 volunteers going door to door in the district, while the other candidates probably had around 20 each. With so much public support and so many people willing to spend their time helping, I can't understand who voted for the other candidates. At least Jim gets to take a very much needed break right now and we get to keep our candidate (Das) on the City Council for another 5 years.

Onward and upward.

a baby, a prom, a wedding, and a funeral

Since my last post, I've seen an entire lifetime of events. My friend Heather & her partner Deb birthed baby Liam at home, Jim & I attended a middle-aged gay prom (it was a blast!), my friend Darien became engaged, and a friend died. Also, I came to terms with my decision on the alimony Gavin owes me. Here's more on the alimony, and then the death.

Last week, Gavin was on the cover of the weekly entertainment newspaper, the SB Independent. It's a great paper that everyone reads and is distributed everywhere. The story was about SB nightlife and only quoted him a couple of times. He is quite well known in SB, so he was their cover photo. The photo isn't available online. He's been very successful, which is great, but his success is one more reason why he shouldn't be let off the hook for the alimony. He DJs about 6 nights a week, works a couple days at a school, owns a DJ school, owns a DJ referral business, and has bought a condo, new truck, and a motorcycle. I would say he has the means to pay the alimony. The courts said that he is legally required to pay me before he pays any other expenses, including his own rent or mortgage. I haven't been aggressive about it for the past year since communication with him is painful and opens the door to more interaction with him. However, I'm living month to month and this was the last straw. I'm going to send him a letter by mail notifying him that I will be garnishing his wages beginning in June. I'll clearly state how it will work and that future communications should be by mail.

The other big thing that has happened is a friend in SB died last week. I barely knew her, but it's still really hard to hear, and I still had to mourn. She was about 25, worked at PIRG, and was severely depressed. She was on suicide watch, but was smart and determined enough to set up a scenario where everyone thought she was with someone else. She moved her car so people would think she was away from home and her roommate was in Boston. She died on Wednesday night. On Monday, her voicemail was full, a friend realized she wasn't where she said she would be, and they called the police. Her close friends and family are saddened, but said she would have died 6 months ago had she not had such close friends and loved ones. The pain was just too much for Mary Braun to bear. I'll post a photo here of her once I get one to help remember her.

$50,000 !!!!

I just got a $50,000 check for Pacific Pride! Woo hoo!!!! This REALLY helps us get back on track and keep our doors open. It may be the biggest check that PPF has ever gotten. It's certainly the biggest one I have, by 5 times!

PS - we also got a 5k challenge grant (we need to raise 5k in matching $ to get the grant) and at 14k foundation grant this week!

Al Franken Hugged Me!

On 3/31/06, Jim & I volunteered for a fundraiser for the Santa Barbara Legal Aid Foundation. LAF does fine work, but neither of us has been involved before. We voluneered because Al Franken was speaking and we could get in for free. When we showed up for the event, we found out that we also got to take shifts at the pre-event meet & greet with the man. We got to meet him and get our photo taken together, where Al hugged me!
For anyone who doesn't know who Al Franken is, think "Deep Thoughts, By Jack Handey." He's also the political satyrist who started the progressive talk radio network "Air America." He did a great job of criticizing Republicans, but let the Democrats totally off the hook, which was very disappointing.

Happy Birthday to Me!

As you all know, today is my 32nd birthday. Many of you are asking, "what did you do for your birthday?" So, here's the exciting answer. On Saturday we had a party at the house. About 30 friends came for BBQ, beer, and wine. They drank less beer than the last party, so we have 1/2 of a pony keg of Sierra Nevada left over. Hurry up and get over here before it gets warm...

My friends brought really nice gifts, which was unexpected. I got a political thriller book, African salad spoons, an array of succulents, an orchid, a funky handmade bowl, and a set of candles/plate/chimes. Scott & Kim mailed me amazing soap from Paris, and my mom sent me a gift card from Ann Taylor Loft (score!). A pretty good haul!

Tonight Jim & I drove down to Smokin' Jack's BBQ in Carpinteria, but it was closed. So, we kept on driving down to Malibu for Jamaican Jerk Salmon. YUM!

Last Friday we volunteered at Al Franken's fundraiser for SB Legal Aid. We got to meet him and get our photo taken. I'll post that as soon as I get it. I just kept repeating to Jim, "Al Franken hugged me!" all night. More on Al when we get the pictures.

Mexico

Jim's in Mexico this weekend on the Baja penninsula. He's surfing a break called Ship Wrecks.

It's in the Cabo De Colonet, 2 miles from the village of Rubean Jalmilla on the 1 Mexican National highway, which is an extension of the 5 in the US.

Oscars

I'm proud to say that 2 donors I cultivated at CALPIRG were major features of tonight's Oscars. Paul Haggis wrote/directed/produced Crash and Sid Ganis is President of the Academy. Congratulations to these progressive philanthropists! It was a pleasure to get to "see" them and Paul's wife, Deborah, again since I no longer get to visit with them at work. The Haggis are great people who deserve this success. I'm sure Sid is great too, but I didn't get to know him well!

Open House

Last night PPF hosted an Open House to welcome our new Executive Director. David is much beloved in the community, plus we need an image make-over, so the party seemed like the perfect event. We had at least 100 people come including major donors, major politicians, and political candidates. We raked in nearly $2,000 in donations.

I couldn't have asked for a better event. People were really impressed with the staff, got to meet Board members, see that others in the community support us, etc.

People had been interested to talk with us, but not necessarily ready yet to donate again. The Open House is key to helping turn the tide.

It's a new day for Pacific Pride Foundation!

Jim got a job!

After 3 months of unemployment, Jim got a job! It's a great job, but it's short term. He's a field organizer for Das Williams's bid for County Supervisor. Das is a perfect candidate - he has great politics, know everything there is to know about the issues, is LOCAL (a must), ambitious, experienced, confident... His political drawback is that he's 31. Some people think he's too young for the seat. However, when they hear about his experience, they put that aside.

There are 4 candidates vying for the seat. The other 3 are Republican Dan Secord who is a former OBGYN and peer of Das's on the SB City Council, Janet Wolf, a Democrat on the Goleta School Board, and Joe Guzzardi is a neighborhood activist. It's already a contentious fight because Dan is very popular and delivered half of the babies in SB and there are 2 Democrats. It's a great opportunity for Jim to meet a lot of players on the scene.

We hope that Das will make it past the primary, both because we want him to win, and also so Jim has a job until November.

February 14th

Is Same Sex Hand Holding Day. Go forth and celebrate.

Carnage in Goleta

Six people are dead and a seventh critically wounded after a former employee of a U.S. Postal Service processing and distribution center in Goleta opened fire with a handgun late Monday before fatally turning the weapon on herself. Fortunately, neither Jim nor I know any of these people. I have to visit this post office tomorrow to drop off a bulk mailing and am not looking forward to it. I'll probably bring donuts or something else to cheer people up.

This is just a year after the disaster known to locals as "La Conchita" when the hill over the small village of La Conchita fell on the homes killing about a dozen people. My friend Katie was killed in a car accident as a result of the aftermath.

Big Wednesday

This is a photo of the giant waves in Santa Barbara in December. See all of those little dots? Those are people. Surprisingly, only one person died trying to surf.